GPS to Success

June 30th, 2008

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In my humble opinion, I think there are three key elements to achieving success in business.  Those 3 elements can be described in what I call the GPS system. Just like a navigational system you would use in your car to get you from where you are to where you want to be, the GPS for Success System can do the same thing.

 

·         G- Goals. You have to know what you want in order to get what you want.  Write down the end result, the thing at the end of the road that you want to obtain or achieve.  Is it a promotion, a new job, or a contest you want to win?  Whatever it is, write it down. This makes it clear to you and those around you exactly what you are working towards.

 

·         P- Plan. A goal without a plan is just a wish.  Just because you know what you want, does not ensure you are going to get it.  That takes planning. Break down your goal into the steps you need to take in order to achieve or obtain the end result. Many times the end result or the process to get where we want to be, is enough to stop us in our tracks and we end up not taking any action at all. That is why I teach the dicing method. You break down the goal into tiny, bite size steps so that no one step is overwhelming or intimidating.

 

As an example, if you have a large goal that you are looking to accomplish by the end of the year, all the details to make that happen may seem like just too much to deal with, and you may give up before you even start. However, if at the very moment you set the goal, you immediately go into planning mode and break down that one year goal into 12 steps (one for each month), then break each of the 12 into 4 steps (one for each week of the month), then break the 4 into 7(one step for each day of the week), you will have a plan that makes your goal a lot easier to accomplish.

 

·         S- Surmount Fear. We all have some kind of fear that gets in the way of getting what we say we want. Doesn’t mean we don’t want it, just means things get in our way. One of those “things” is fear. There are two types of fear. Pretty simple, real fear and fake fear. What’s the difference? Real fear can cause physical harm or death. Fake fear only exists in your head. So why is it that something that only exists in our heads, prevents us from taking action to get what we want? Perception.

 

Our perception of fear is what holds us back, not the fear itself. When it comes to a fake fear, like rejection, it is the projection of what MIGHT happen that stops us in our tracks. But let me ask you, even if what you thought might happen did happen are you any worse off than you were to begin with? If you are afraid to ask your boss for a raise because he or she might say no, let me ask you this. If he/she does say no are you any worse off than you started? No! So what do you have to lose? NOTHING!

 

Another example, there is a person you are interested in dating. You see them but you don’t approach them. Why not? They might say no, they might say go away, they might say not if you were the last person on earth and if it was up to you and he/she to continue the human race…NO, God would just have to find another way. Now, call me crazy, but I say so what. So what if they say that. Whatever they say will not cause me physical harm or death so what do I have to lose… NOTHING!

 

Let me ask you this. Let’s say you were rejected, turned down cold. Wouldn’t you rather know that this person is clearly not for you for a multitude of reasons than spend your life wondering what would have happened if? Anytime I have been turned down for anything, whether it be a date, or a job, or a raise, or anything, I know. I don’t wonder what would have happened if. I know. That to me is living a life of no regrets, no what if’s?

 

So that is my secret to success, three simple steps, GPS. You can accomplish anything if you just set a goal, make a plan and surmount fear. Sharmen Lane

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Go with the flow

May 29th, 2008

By Success Expert, Sharmen Lane.

Go with the flow. Choose flow over force.  That’s a nice concept, isn’t it? If going with the flow is so much better and easier than forcing things to happen then why is it that we spend so much time forcing the square peg into the round hole?
 
It has always been my experience that things work out so much better, almost as if it was somehow predisposed, when we let things just fall into place. Even so, how do you do that when you are vested in something? I remember once upon a time I heard the author, Wayne Dyer say be open to everything and attached to nothing. Sounds interesting, but how do we do that?
 
For starters when you notice things aren’t going the way you want them to, stop and take a deep breath. Awareness is essential. You first have to commit to the idea that you have to be aware and acknowledge when things aren’t going the way you want them to. Then you must be willing take the step back.
 
There is an old book by the title of Path of Least Resistance by Robert Fritz. It exemplifies this better than anything else I’ve ever read. When we take the path of least resistance it’s like water running down a mountain. It just flows. Nature and gravity simply take care of everything.
 
Another great example of this is in the e-book entitled The Power Pause by John Harricharan. Life has a way of working itself out when we give up a little “control.” Trust me, I know better than anyone how hard it is to stop in the middle of something, even when it isn’t going smoothly, to take a deep breath and walk away. However, every time I do, the right answer or the solution to the problem presents itself.
 
At the end of the day remember one or both of these phrases, then do them! Go with the flow, or take the path of least resistance. You will be more relaxed, get more done, and you will be glad you did.
 

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Flow Versus Force

May 19th, 2008

 

Today’s show Sharmen discusses the value of going with the flow and letting things fall into place. Many times the best things just seem to happen to us. Versus the opposite, forcing something to happen and no matter what we do it just doesn’t work out right. Today we are going to give you some signs and solutions to help you flow into success versus the stress of forcing what may not be meant to be.

 
icon for podpress  Mpowered Youth [55:12m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 
icon for podpress  Flow Vs Force: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

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Four Steps to Feel Good

May 19th, 2008

By Motivational Speaker and Author Sharmen Lane

Who hasn’t heard of the Law of Attraction right? Most everyone in this day and age has because of the movie The Secret. The Law of Attraction has been around for centuries. I personally have known about and been practicing the Law of Attraction for over ten years.
 
There are many different ways to think about this universal law. Thoughts become things, what you think about, you bring about, what you send out is what you get back, like attracts like, and many others. There is a fantastic book titled “Excuse Me, Your Life Is Waiting,” by Lynn Grabhorn. It really gives an easy and simple approach to understanding and using the Law of Attraction.
 
In a nutshell, feelings have vibrational frequencies. Good, happy feelings have high vibrations, bad feelings have low vibrations. Have you ever had a day that started off badly and continued to “snowball?” Most of us have. However, the opposite can be true as well. Surely, if you think hard enough you can remember a time that a day started off terrible and quickly shifted to be the most extraordinary day. Likelihood is the day that started off badly, you didn’t let it get to you and you maintained a positive disposition, allowing the day to end up great.
 
So, what can you do to keep the good vibes flowing even when bad things happen? That’s a great question. We all have something that makes us happy or feel good. What is it for you? Take a moment to think about all the things that make you happy. Do you have a song that you love, a childhood memory, an adult memory, a picture that just makes you smile when you look at it? All these are things that you can use as tools to pick you up when you are feeling down. That will change the vibrations that you are sending out, thereby allowing good vibrations to come back.
 
Here is a four step process help you choose to change your feelings and attract what you want into your life.
 
1.       Observe your current situation and identify how you feel about it.
2.       Now think about how you would like it do be different.
3.       Next remember your happy thought. (Song, picture, memory, etc)
4.       Think about what you want as if you already had it while feeling the good feelings of your happy thought.
 
This process will remind you to pay attention to how you are feeling and give you a way to focus your attention on what you do want instead of what you don’t. The worst case scenario is, you will feel more positive simple because you are thinking of something that makes you happy. 
 
Change your thoughts, change your mind. ~ Wayne Dyer
 
For more information visit, www.sharspeaks.com
 
 

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Worry Less, Accomplish More

May 13th, 2008

By Success Expert Sharmen Lane

Worry. Nothing good comes from this emotion.  As a matter of fact, most of the time only bad things come from worry.  Worry usually causes stress, anxiety, sleeplessness, headaches, grey hair and wrinkles.   So why, do we do it?

When we worry we are doing one of two things.  Either thinking about the past or projecting into the future.  Neither one has anything to do with right now.  I’ve been using this phrase for many years now and it goes like this. “Worry about tomorrow and you lose today”.  If there is something you are worried about, stop yourself and ask, are my thoughts about the future or the past?  I can almost guarantee it will be one or the other.

If you find you are thinking of the past, ask yourself if there is anything you can do to change it?  Unless you have some magic time machine chances are the answer is no. Therefore, why are you spending time thinking about it?  Don’t waste time and energy thinking about what happened and wishing it were different.  No amount of thinking about it is going to change it. 

If you find you are thinking of something that hasn’t happened yet then you are projecting your thoughts into the unknown future.  That is a waste of time and energy.  Your imagination is what is working here and nothing else. 

In either case, if you are thinking about the past or the future, you are not being present.   The sure fire way to eliminate worry is to accept, plan and take action.  Whatever happened in the past isn’t going to change so accept it, find the good that came out of it and make a plan to prevent it from happening again.  If you are concerned about something in the future, accept that hasn’t happened yet, make a plan to get the results you are looking for and take the steps necessary to get the desired results.

If you are worrying about a mistake you made at work yesterday, can you rewind time and undo what has already happened?  NO!  Therefore, accept what happened and evaluate your current situation.  Then come up with a plan to correct the mistake or make it right then take action.

If you are worried about how you are going to pay the rent next month, is worrying about it going to help you pay the rent?  NO!  What will?  Finding a way to save money and make more.  Now that will pay the rent.

The next time you find yourself having the emotion you would identify as worry or concern, get present.  Think about now, make a plan and take action to get what you want.

There is nothing that wastes the body like worry, and one who has any faith in God should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever~Mahatma Ghandi

For more information visit www.sharspeaks.com or email us at sharspeaks@yahoo.com

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Why do we procrastinate?

May 6th, 2008

 By Sharmen Lane Self Improvement and Success Expert

 

How often do we put off until tomorrow what can be done today? You know you should clean out the closet, or study for the test or prepare your will or trust.  However, you find a gamut of other things to do instead.  There are many reasons that we as human beings procrastinate. Here are the most common.

 

1.            Anxiety.  Do you have anxiety about what needs to be done and that is why you are putting it off?  Typically anxiety is directly related to the beginning or the ending of a task.  That’s usually because what needs to be done, seems overwhelming or frightening.  How many times do you put off doing your taxes?  Is that because the actual process of doing your taxes is too challenging or too difficult?  Another good example is situations like having an elderly parent knowing there are certain things that need to be dealt with and you really don’t want to face it. It’s something you’d rather push back to the dark corners of your closet and not deal with it.  But rarely, does this work in our favor.

 

2.            Failure.  Another reason people procrastinate.  Are you not doing what you know you should do because you expect you may fail?  Is it safer and easier to say you didn’t get what you want because you didn’t try? What’s the alternative?  To say you didn’t get what you want because you did try but failed?  I believe that it’s better to have tried and failed than to never have tried at all.  Don’t you waste more mental energy thinking about doing something as opposed to just doing it?

 

3.             Success. Yet another reason people procrastinate. Many will not do what they are capable of doing because they know it will result in success.  Success is heavy and carries a responsibility with it.  Are you nervous or unsure about the responsibilities you will have if you reach your goal?  Is the reason you aren’t taking action?

 

4.             Perfectionist.  Perfectionists tend to take no action if they can’t do it perfectly.  I have seen people who have absolutely disaster-ous home improvement projects both inside and outside that haven’t been finished.  So the inside of their kitchen may be half ripped out and not functioning but they won’t do anything to fix it until they have the plans just perfect, down to every last detail.  This makes no sense to me.  Why would you rather live in complete and total chaos than make the situation decent and livable?

 

5.             Resistance.  Yet one more reason people put off what needs to done.  If you are being required to do something that you do not want to do or do not see the value in, you may put it off until the very last possible moment or permanently if you can get away with it. Many times with school or work you have to do things you really don’t want to do. You have to take prerequisite classes for school or you have to sit through an HR presentation at work even though you have been there for 10 + years and never had an HR problem.    You don’t want to do any of these things.   They are annoying nagging things you need to do, but you put them off because there are plenty of things you want to do that are far more appealing. 

 

The most common denominator here is fear.   Pushing it off or procrastinating is only going to make matters worse.  If there are consequences to something those consequences are still going to be there when you finally get around to facing them and they will likely get worse the longer you put it off.  Ask yourself, “What am I afraid of,” and then deal with it.  Many times, if not always, things are worse in our head than reality ever turns out to be.  Just be honest and admit the fear, deal with it, get past it and step up and live your life NOW!!!  If something doesn’t work out the way you want it to, it’s ok, you can now move on to something else. 

 

Shar is a master at connecting with her readers.  She breaks down the information with examples that anyone can relate to and apply. I recommend this book for every self-help library!

Don Hutson, professional speaker & Co-authorof The One Minute Entrepreneur with Ken Blanchard

 

Sharmen Lane has an energy and message that is powerful for anyone.  Her book is insightful and inspiring and empowers us all to make the life we want, happen!
 
Shar is an impressive self-starter who has created a formidable network of fans and followers. In the realm of publicity, Shar is masterful in connecting with her audience and building a relationship over time with excellent, relevant content. Her contact base of over 10,000 already marks her as an excellent investment by any top-flight publisher. She’ll deliver in content, and she will especially deliver in selling the book. Don’t miss Shar; she is a force to be reckoned with!
Sue Gilad, Author of Real Estate Millionaire and Copyediting and Proofreading for Dummies.

 

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It’s work, and they love it (as posted in the NY Daily News)

May 5th, 2008

It’s work, and they love it
BY MILDRED L. CULP

(View this interview as posted by the NY Daily News here)

For most of us, job satisfaction means finding work that isn’t too much of a daily grind.

But your name doesn’t have to be Jeter, Buffett or Oprah to make going to work a pleasure. Finding work that not only pays well — but you enjoy — is possible. Your Money talked to three New Yorkers who found their way into jobs they love, and their stories demonstrate how determination and luck can pay off for lots of others.

Rachele Benloulou-Dubin, Comix Comedy Nightclub

"Rocky," as 37-year-old Rachele Benloulou-Dubin likes to be called, works with some of the funniest people in the world.

As president of Rockster Productions, she helps program six nights a week of comedy while also scouting out new talent for the Comix Comedy Nightclub on W. 14th St.

"I always wanted to be in the entertainment business," said Benloulou-Dubin. "When I was really young, I wanted to be in ballet, but I had knee problems."

After school, she followed her family into the fashion industry. Briefly. Then, she was a waitress in a comedy club.

She inched up, becoming an assistant to the booker, then moved into events production in corporate entertainment, where she arranged comedians as well as the likes of Jerry Seinfeld and Greg Giraldo. Now she makes in the high-five figures, spending much of her work time laughing.

"When I went into comedy, it just felt right," she said. "I work for the hottest, coolest comedy nightclub in the city and the most booming emerging neighborhood in the city. Part of my job is to [have others] make me laugh."

Benloulou-Dubin, who was born in Montreal and now lives in Forest Hills, Queens, plans on starting a family some day but for now is having too much fun.

"I’m not looking to go there fast," she said. "I’m having a blast."

Sharmen Lane, SharSpeaks

Sharmen Lane has always had her eye on the ladder’s next rung, and now she earns her living helping others make the climb.

At 15, she worked at Little Caesars Pizza, in Southern California, often turning over her meager paychecks to her mom to help with rent. A year later, between her junior and senior years in high school, she trained to be a manicurist, work she loved until she discovered a pay ceiling of about $50,000.

Lane spent most of the 1990s learning the mortgage industry and, by 2003, was earning more than $1 million a year as a sales manager at a financial services firm, arranging home loans with mortgage brokers.

Now, at 36, she’s selling her knowledge and experience as a motivational speaker. She has regular Internet radio programs on and authored "The 7 Secrets to Create Your Fate."

"I don’t know that there’s any job better than one that empowers others to think outside of the box," said Lane, who lives in Turtle Bay in Manhattan.

"It doesn’t matter who you are or where you came from. You can do anything you want if you know what you want, set your goals, make a plan and take the steps necessary to make it happen. I think that this is the most amazing job that anyone could ever have."

Bruno Jamais, Bruno Jamais Restaurant Club

Fifteen years ago, Bruno Jamais came to New York from Paris with a few thousand bucks and a brain full of recipes.

Today, at 47, he owns more than half of the Upper East Side restaurant featuring his name and earns in the high six figures.

"I wake up every day and feel that I’m going to do what I want to do," Jamais said. "It’s a dream job."

Jamais grew up in the kitchens of his father’s restaurants. After a military hitch, Jamais worked in Paris as a maitre d’ and manager before coming to New York. Once here, Jamais "got very lucky," and got work in two of the city’s toniest eateries: Daniel and Alain Ducasse. He made contacts who financed his own place, on E. 81st St. between Fifth and Madison Aves.

Serving French food with an Asian accent, and featuring a wine list whose offerings run from $40 to $9,000, the restaurant has won acclaim in its six years.

Having conquered the New York culinary scene, Jamais has a new goal in mind. Cryptically, he allowed that it will blend three of his loves: food, antique cars and, most importantly, his 24-year-old daughter, Jessica. A veteran of the Paris restaurant scene, she plans to come to New York to help with his next project.

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Join me on Twitter

May 1st, 2008

You can now follow me on twitter at www.twitter.com/sharspeaks

How to make better choices

April 28th, 2008

by Self Help Expert Sharmen Lane Almost everything we do in life is a choice.  To get out of bed in the morning is a choice. To go to work and do your job and pay your rent and take chances and risks, are all choices.  To eat unhealthy foods knowing you will gain weight and increase fat and cholesterol and your risk for heart disease are all choices.  To get married, or stay in an unhappy marriage or have children, again all these things are our choices. Every choice has a consequence.  Sometimes the consequences are good, sometimes they’re not.  Either way, there is always a choice and a consequence that goes along with it.  In my own personal opinion it is quite empowering to realize and exercise your ability to choose. That’s a whole lot better than leaving your life or your successes to chance.  I would rather ensure my success by making better choices than leaving my life, my opportunities and my success up to a roll of the dice.How often do you hear someone say, “I didn’t have a choice”?  As awful as the options may be, there is always a choice.  If you choose to go out with friends or colleagues when you know you should be preparing for a test or a presentation that is your choice.  If you don’t pass the test, or you don’t do as well as you know you were capable of on the presentation you will know you really have no one to blame but yourself.  That’s called taking responsibility for our actions. Every choice moves us closer to or farther away from something.  Where are your choices leading your life?  When you are facing a challenge or an opportunity ask yourself, “Is this going to bring me closer to or farther away from what I want?”  And then depending on your answer, you choose.

Sometimes you will have to choose between two crummy options.  Even though both of the options are terrible, there is still a choice.  Not choosing is choosing. If you want better things, you have to make better choices. If you want more money you have to make choices that will provide you with more money.  If you want a better relationship, you have to make choices that encourage a better relationship.

Here’s a little tool to help you out.  I’ve developed a little fast and simple process that will help you to evaluate any situation and make better choices.  With better choices we make better more enriched lives for ourselves.  Ask yourself, "if I do X what will be the consequences, both good and bad?"  It’s almost the same as doing a pros and cons list.  Most people don’t stop and think.  They just do.  If you can create a new habit of stopping whatever you are doing and simple ask, what are the consequences if I make this choice?  You will make better decisions and create a better life for yourself. Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.Wayne Dyer

For more information visit www.sharspeaks.com

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How to get what you want

April 16th, 2008

by Self development and self help expert Sharmen Lane

Ever wonder why some people seem to get what they want easily and effortlessly? There are some tried and true techniques to getting what you want. This process is what I call the 3 C’s to Succcess.

 #1 Commit. Are you committed to the outcome? What is the desired result that you are looking for? If you aren’t clear about what you are looking to achieve you certainly aren’t committed to it. Think of a commitment like a legal binding agreement. If you sign on the dotted line and are legally bound, are you likely to back out or not fulfill your end of the agreement? Probably not. If you take that approach to any goal you are setting you are 90% there. If you are committed to losing weight and sign a contract saying you will weigh ten pounds less than you do now at the end of 60 days, or there will be a $10,000 fine, do you think you will find a way to be ten pounds less? My guess is yes. Why does there need to be a $10K fine? Simply view your goal as a contract, even if it’s only with yourself. Once you get committed the rest is downhill.

#2 Communicate. People who are committed to reaching their goal, share that goal with others. The tell anyone who will listen. They would shout it from the rooftops and take out a full page ad in the New York Times. Why is that? Because the more people you tell, the more real it becomes. If you tell one person about your goal and the person next to you tells 100 people, who’s got more at stake? Obviously, the person who told more people has more to lose. So the more ways you communicate (write, read, talk, listen, etc) and the more you communicate it to, the closer you will be to your goal.

#3 Create. Once you have decided that you are truly committed to your goal and you have written it down and read it out loud, and shared it with others all you have to do now is take action. This is the easiest of the three steps. It’s easy to do when you are committed and have told everyone you know about what you are working towards. The most important thing is to “do”. Do something that is actively working towards your goal every day. Before you know it, you will have what you want and will have created your dream to make it a reality.

Follow the 3 C’s to Success. It’s a simple tried and true process that will help you reach your desired goal faster and easier than you ever thought possible.

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