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What’s in your integrity?

By Sharmen Lane

A long time ago I heard someone describe integrity as “what you do when no one else watching.”  Ever since that day, that has been my interpretation of what integrity is.  Are you who you say you are?  Do you do as you say and say as you do?  Is who you are in public, who you are behind closed doors?

I read an article recently written by Holly Hill the Australian Sugarbabe, who wrote and is sharing her theory of Negotiated Infidelity.  It’s basically where a couple has an agreement to not be monogamous. It allows people to have a relationship with each other but have sex outside the relationship.  I found this concept to be fascinating because isn’t the purpose of being in a relationship to not be intimate with other people?  If you want to have sex with other people then why not just be single?

To me, negotiated infidelity would be out of integrity.  A romantic relationship is a romantic relationship because it’s monogamous.  However, other people clearly don’t feel the same.  But I do ask you, what’s in your integrity? What does the word mean to you and do you live by it?

Today we are living in a world where public figures like Tiger Woods, and Jesse James, cheat on their wives and blame it on sex addiction. Is it sex addiction or just poor judgment backed up by little personal integrity?  We live in a world where a Bernie Madoff pulls off a $50 billion ponzi scheme and multi-billion dollar companies go under because of fraud or misrepresentation. Entire industries are wiped out because of unscrupulous activities, and those activities are often carried out by the leaders themselves. Where is the integrity? If we raised our own personal level of integrity would these things still happen?

Where does integrity begin? Does it start with our government, our role models, our school system, our family, our spouse, or does it start with ourselves? To what standard do we hold ourselves? If each and every one of us has integrity and live by it and require it from those around us would those things still be happening in our world?

Let me leave you with this… what does integrity mean to you, and are you living up to it?

For more information please visit www.SharSpeaks.com and www.wowandthehow.com

Lindsay Lohan, Tiger Woods, Jesse James. Famous people, doing infamous things.  These are role models to our youth, that are not setting a very good example. However, they get ridiculous amounts of attention for behaving badly.  Is that the standard we want to set?  Is that example we are setting for young people today? Thank goodness for Judge Marsha Revel, who sentenced the 24 year old actress to 90 days in jail.  It’s about time that we make rich and famous people be responsible for their actions so all the young kids today don’t continue to grow up thinking that there are no consequences for bad choices and actions. 

It’s time to raise the standard. We need to stop giving attention to bad behaving role models.  When someone becomes a public figure they should be held to yet an even higher standard, not a lower one where they get even more attention for setting a negative example.  And when they do things that do not set a good example for young people who have made them their idols, they should get less or no attention, not more. What does it say to our youth when a rich and famous actress gets arrested for drunk driving and violates her parole and continues to get away with it?  What does it say to young men in the world when Tiger Woods is a superstar golfer, the very best at what he does, exercises extremely poor judgment and gets more media attention for the bad thing he did?  Doesn’t that send the message that bad behavior gets you a press conference, on the cover of newspapers and magazines and on the first page of every internet site known to man? Is that what we want our future leaders of the world to think?

It’s time to raise the standard. If we want to see a positive change in the world, we have to be that change. That change starts with the man in the mirror, as Michael Jackson sang it. The question is, are you setting a high standard for yourself and for those around you?  Are you being the change you want to see in the world? Are we holding those that are role models and those who have a lot of influence on our kids, teens and tweens to a higher standard… and when they don’t live up to that standard are there consequences? 

Let’s raise the standard.  Let’s join together to hold public people to a higher standard so we can raise the bar and create a world we all can be proud of.

Here we are almost six months through the year.  Do you remember what your New Year’s Resolution was?  If so, how are you doing on it?  Most people have completely forgotten what they set out to do by the end of the year within the first two weeks, much less six months. There is no better time than the present to refresh those goals, make them a commitment and make them happen.

Most folks are going to be starting over with their goals and resolutions, but hey, who says you can only do resolutions at the beginning of the year?  Perhaps we need to change the rules and do Mid-Year Resolutions too.

So what can we do to set or reaffirm our resolutions and make them happen this time?

Number 1) Identify what you want. Be clear, detailed and write it down.  Put it somewhere you’ll see it when you wake up, right before you go to bed, and all throughout the day. Put it on a post-it note and put it in your car. Make it be your screen saver on your computer.  Have it as the background on your cell phone. Create an affirmation, in the positive and present tense. Say something like “I am 140 pounds, size 8, happy, healthy and well.” Or perhaps, “I have met the man/woman of my dreams. We have the most amazing and wonderful relationship.” Or maybe even, “I am making six figures doing what I love every day… I couldn’t be happier!”

Number 2) Make a picture of it. When I wanted to lose 30 pounds, I created a vision board of it.  I got pictures of the body I wanted and put my face over the models.  I did that with a book cover when I wanted to become an author and I cut out the NY Times Bestseller list from the paper and put my name and book title on it.  When I wanted to increase my income, I took my last month paystub and changed the date and amount to what I wanted.  This will allow you to see your goal before you have actually created it.

Number 3) Share it with others.  Put it on Facebook or Twitter about it.  Find a buddy to partner up with and remind each other and keep each other accountable. Create a blog and share your goal and blog about your progress every day. Who knows you may even inspire someone else!

Number 4) Make a plan.  Don’t simply set the goal and expect to make it happen.  Write a plan, you don’t have to be married to it, but have a basic plan with action steps on how you are going to achieve your goal.

Number 5) Take action. Now you have a clearly defined goal, a plan, a way to see it everyday in many different ways, and ways to share it with others. Now all you have to do it take action and let it happen.

These are five simple steps to remember, review, or renew your New Year’s Resolution. Take action now as there are six more months to go and you can end this year with a bang!

Figure skater in the Vancouver 2010 Olympics loses her mother, but finds her strength.

To be an Olympic athlete is a tremendous feat in and of itself. The hard work, sacrifice and commitment are second to none. So how does one find greatness in a moment of grief? That is a question Joannie Rochette can answer.

Many time figure skating medalist, Joannie Rochette, lost her mother two days before a flawless performance on February 23 at the 2010 Vancouver Olympics. Most people can’t imagine what it would be like to make it to the Olympics. Being on a stage for the whole world to see, many would crack under the pressure. Imagine it’s in your home town and you are representing your country and tragedy strikes.

Joannie’s mother died of a massive heart attack on Sunday, February 21.  Joannie is set to skate her short program just two days later, and pulled it off flawlessly. This young woman is an example for the world to follow.  She made a choice to go out onto the ice, do her best and make her mother proud. This is a moment we could all learn from.

We all have pressures; we all have things on our mind. However, most of us don’t have to perform on a stage that will be seen by millions of people across the globe. Joannie Rochette found the strength and determination to give the performance of a lifetime.  She is currently in third place, but  is in first in our hearts.

May we all take this young athletes triumph as an example to demonstrate that we can all find our greatness, even in the most difficult moments.

For more information please visit, www.sharspeaks.com, www.wowandthehow.com www.average2awesomelife.com or you can email us at shar@sharspeaks.com.

MANICURIST TO MILLIONAIRE SHARES SIMPLE, SUCCESSFUL TOOLS THAT GUIDED HER NEW LIFE IN HER LATEST BOOK “GIVING YOU THE WOW AND THE HOW”
 
–Sharmen Lane’s transforming and relatable strategies help people make better choices, “moving from ordinary to extraordinary” –
 
     Los Angeles, CA –– A life path beginning in a highly dysfunctional family environment, moving from high school dropout to manicurist and eventually achieving self-made millionaire status sounds more like a Hollywood fairy tale but, as Sharmen Lane describes in her compelling new book, GIVING YOU THE WOW AND THE HOW, she made the transformation happen following the simplest principles of her own design drawn from her personal life experiences. The result is a stimulating “fix-it” chronicle that gives readers the tools to “get from where you are to where you want to be.”
            Her immensely readable life-changing narrative, subtitled  “44 Tips from the Millionaire Manicurist That Will Change Your Life Now” and published by Morgan James Publishing (February 24, 2010  $14.95), does more than recount a sad, unfulfilled early life populated by nine divorces among her parents, alcohol, bad choices and a host of other negatives that could have consumed her. Rather, Ms. Lane, highly-regarded motivational speaker, life coach, author and radio show host, shares with readers just how she focused on her passions, conquered fears and made choices that empowered her to create a dream lifestyle – all by using the tools she now makes accessible to everyone.
            The one-time manicurist making $20,000 a year describes through 44 straightforward tips how readers can, as she did, “power past” their fears and find a way out of an unfulfilling life. Ms. Lane offers practical examples of how to give a voice to individual passions to inspire growth, whether dealing with one’s personal relationships, professional life, educational aspirations or improved health.
            The book recounts simple principles evolved from Ms. Lane’s own experiences that guided her dramatic life changes — whether losing 30 pounds (and keeping it off), making more money than she ever imagined possible ($1.2 million a year before she was 30), running a marathon, retiring from corporate life at 34,  and even earning a college degree.
            Through dozens of simple exercises and lessons, innovative tools outlined in GIVING YOU THE WOW AND THE HOW include learning to break down your goals into manageable areas so that every goal, regardless of how complex, seems attainable. Readers also learn to use the power of their emotions, and controlling them, as tools for change, how to “knock out the negative,” how to control one’s feelings with the “Ten Second Rule,” conquering fear, teaching accountability, and how to make empowering choices.
            Chapter titles reveal the scope and unpretentious style of her narrative –“Take Your Talk for a Walk,” “Kick Your Fear in the Rear,” “What You Feel You Make Real,” “Putting Off Procrastination,” among them.
           About the Author:  Manicurist to millionaire Sharmen Lane is a widely recognized four- time author, motivational speaker, life coach and radio host (Now to Wow on 1230am WBLQ). She has been interviewed on Lifetime TV, NPR, New York Daily News, BusinessWeek, and many others. She has written articles for National Magazines and has spoken for several large companies, corporations, high schools, colleges, charities and non-profit organizations throughout the world. As a motivational speaker, she has trained, managed, and coached thousands of individuals on what it takes to get what they want.
            About the Publisher:  Morgan James has revolutionized book publishing - from the author’s standpoint. Their Entrepreneurial Publishing Model™ enriches authors as well as the company. Morgan James Publishing was selected by Publishers Weekly as the 3rd fastest growing publisher in tough times for 2009 for their leading creative thinking, significant accomplishments and stands to have a momentous impact on the industry for the next 10 years.

For more information, visit:  www.wowandthehow.com

This guest article was written by Adrienne Carlson, who regularly writes on the topic of accelerated online degree .

You don’t realize how difficult it is to beat an addiction unless you’ve actually been in the situation yourself – you know you have to quit because you are slowly destroying yourself, but you’re unable to do so because of forces beyond your control that tug and claw at you until you give in. And you end up feeling guilty and hating yourself because you think you are not strong enough. Getting rid of an addiction is a significant achievement because it proves that you can accomplish the greatest victory there is – that over yourself. You know you have battled your personal demons and vanquished them all with your courage and determination. It’s not an easy task, but if you put your mind to it, here’s how you can get rid of an addiction:

· Desire to quit: To beat an addiction, you must want to get rid of it. You must hate the habit more than you enjoy the pleasure it gives you. Only then is it possible to get rid of it for good. Some people give up addictions because they are forced to by friends and family members or because of their circumstances. But in such cases, you’ll find that they often suffer a relapse and are soon back to their destructive habit. So to quit an addiction, you must first want to do so.

· Remove yourself from temptation: Some people find that the best way to quit is cold turkey – get rid of the habit suddenly and immediately. It’s like pulling a Band-Aid from your skin – it hurts initially, but the pain subsides over time. Others find that they do better when they withdraw slowly and steadily. It’s up to you to decide which method stands a better chance of success and implement it accordingly, but for either to succeed, you must remove yourself from temptation – if you’re addicted to cigarettes, alcohol or drugs, ensure that you don’t keep the stuff stocked at home; if you’re addicted to the Internet or to a relationship, sever connections that tend to tie you down.

· Think of the consequences and the rewards: Any addiction has adverse consequences, so if you’re tempted to go back, think of all that you stand to lose if you give in. Simultaneously, focus on all the rewards that are in the offing if you quit successfully and use the thought of these to spur you on to success.

· Seek help from loved ones: When you’re battling the demons of addiction, your efforts are aided with support and help from loved ones, so tell your friends and family of your endeavor and ask them to do all they can to help you out. If you’re tempted to give in to your desires, they may be able to talk you out of it or distract you until the urge disappears.

· Give in under controlled circumstances: Some people find that allowing themselves a little guilty pleasure once in a while under controlled circumstances prevents them from giving in to their cravings and going on binges. This is an option that must be exercised with extreme caution however, because it has the potential to become the first step to a relapse.

Adrienne welcomes your comments and questions at her email address: adrienne.carlson1@gmail.com .

Have you ever had such a great experience with customer service that you wanted to share it with everyone you know? I recently had that experience, and I want to share it with you.

The week of January 10, 2010 I was traveling for business to Westerly, Rhode Island. I was going to be staying at a bed and breakfast called The Villa. I heard a lot of good things about The Villa and its owner’s Barbara and Michael. From the moment I walked in the door I felt like I was family. The Villa has a wonderfully warm and cozy feeling to it. Then I walked into my room. I felt like Princess Jasmine! There was a four-poster bed with a silk canopy, a Jacuzzi bathtub deep enough to almost drown in, and warm fluffy bathrobes that make you want to curl up in front of the fire with a cup of hot chocolate!

After checking in, getting settled, and heading out to meetings, I returned a few hours later. I received a call shortly thereafter from Michael, the owner, wanting to know if I made it back safely and see if there was anything I needed. So far, this place had already far exceeded my expectations.

The next morning I had breakfast made to order. I’m a pretty healthy eater, so I was having home made by Michael granola. It was delicious. The next day I had the same thing. Only this time when my bowl was placed in front of me, Michael said, “organic granola with no raisins.” I asked how he knew I didn’t like raisins. He said he saw I didn’t eat any of them from the day before so he took them out for me today.

Are these people for real? Who notices something like that and then actually does something about it? Michael and Barbara at the Villa, that’s who. But wait! There’s more. The next day I returned around 7pm and Barbara and Michael asked what I would like for dinner. Dinner at a Bed and Breakfast… Who would have thought? I said a sandwich was fine but they said “Oh no. You have to have a better dinner than that.” Ultimately, we decided on pasta with meatballs. I went to my room and just a moment or two after arriving, the phone rang. It was Michael giving me another option for dinner. He said I could borrow their car and go to a restaurant if I’d like. Have you ever heard of such a thing? What hotel on the planet would offer their car so you could go to dinner? The Villa, that’s who.

A short bit later my spaghetti with meatballs arrived. Let me tell you these were the best meatballs I have ever had. After my dinner was brought to my room, they called to make sure all was well and to see if I wanted another glass of wine. Obviously, the service at this place is over the top. Believe it or not, there’s still more!

The day I checked out I had to get to the train station fairly early. When I got to the front desk Michael and Barbara had packed me a breakfast to go. Just when I thought there was nothing more they could do, they did something more!

You must be thinking, “She left, what else can there be?” I didn’t think there was anything else either. However, there was yet one more thing. I was sitting at the train station in Kingston waiting for my train to arrive when I heard my name over the loudspeaker. I went to the counter where an attendant handed me the phone. It was Barbara from The Villa. I had forgotten my credit card. She was going to drive 30 minutes out of her way to meet me at the next station to give me my credit card. Unbelievable!

If you or someone you know is going to Rhode Island, The Villa is the only place to stay. When you are there tell Barbara and Michael that I said hello. I promise no one will take better of you than they will.

To find out more visit www.thevillaatwesterly.com

Would you like 2010 to be everything you ever dreamed of and more!

I bring this up because this year has the potential to be your best year yet. Imagine meeting the right people, at the right time, earning more money, working less hours, feeling less stress, and having some life balance.

I believe these things help us to be happy and I believe we can have greater happiness together than we can have on our own.  The sum of the whole is greater than its parts, and that is called synergy.

I was talking to a couple of friends today and they come up with some of the most interesting questions.  One, is Mark Boersma of Synergy Solutions. The other is Joyce Jackson of the JVC Group. I think you may find their questions as interesting as I did.

Answering these 3 simple questions will help you accomplish and realize your goals in 2010!

Mark Boersma, wrote a really good book on the Science of Success. I’ve read it and highly recommend it. Mark has generously offered to give it to my friends, who answer the following three questions, a complimentary copy of it.

Click the link below to answer the questions and obtain the complimentary ebook:

http://jvusuccess.com/sharspeaks

1. What are the two biggest challenges you are facing in any area of your life, business, or career?

2. If someone could help you in any area of your life, business, or career, what would you love help on?

3. Which of these four shapes appeals to you the most? Then 2^nd, 3^rd and 4^th? 
Cube, Pyramid, Wavy Line, or a Ball.

I’m looking forward to a great 2010 together!

All the best

Sharmen Lane

Hello friends!

Are you looking to drop a few pounds this year? Well I know a great gal with a great idea! Her name is Kelly Jean Fitzsimmons. I think this is a great idea so if you are looking to lose some weight and do some good at the same time then please read what Kelly Jean has to say! 

***

2010 Asses

This January, I am working to find 10 people who have a goal and work
towards it using the same method that I did in BareAss 2008 on my
blog.   When starting White Girl With a Fat Ass (www.jellykean.wordpress.com)

I was inspired by a talk I heard from Sharmen Lane
(http://www.sharspeaks.com/) on the 3 C’s to Success.

1. Commit
2. Communication
3. Create

I committed to raising money for hunger relief while getting healthy,
I communicated it to people on my blog and through my charity badge
thus giving me accountability for my goals, and thus I created White
Girl With a Fat Ass and have raised over $3000 for
hunger relief.

Do you have a goal you would like to communicate and work towards in
2010? Would you like to be one of my 2010 Asses?  You can raise money
for whatever charity you like.  I can show you how to set up a charity
badge through Network for Good, or you can take pledges and donate
directly to your charity of choice. Or you can even collect donations
for my charity badge:

http://www.networkforgood.org/pca/Badge.aspx?BadgeId=107977

I’m hoping to do features on each person and their goal.  Track the
progress on the blog, or link to whatever blog or site you might
already appear in or you could even start your own blog to communicate
your progress.

Sky’s the limit.

Please contact me if you are interested.

kjfitzsimmons@gmail.com

By Success Expert and Motivational Speaker, Sharmen Lane

Hello World and Happy New Year!

No matter how you rang in the new year, there is no better time than the first day of the year to get started on making this an unforgettable, unstoppable year.

Most people set New Years Resolutions on New Years Eve, unfortunately they are quick to be forgotten by the end of the month… if it takes that long. What can you do to make this year different?  Here are a few tools and tips to give you the edge and make what you want happen.

1. Write your goal down. Don’t just say "I’m going to do blank."  Say, "I’m DOING blank."

2. Tell everyone you know.  Make a list starting right now of all the people you can share your goal with. Then call, email, text, twitter or whatever else you want but tell anyone and everyone you know about what you are DOING!

3. Create a vision board.  I do this every New Year’s Eve and now have vision board parties on New’s Year’s.  Cut out pictures of what you want and post them where you can see them often.  If you want to be an author, cut out a book cover and put your name and face on it.  If you want a lean, 10% body fat, size 8 body, or 34 inch waist, cut out a picture and put your face on it.  Make it real and see it so you can be it!

There you go, three simple steps to making what you want, real.  Remember, you have to make a plan and take action and these first three steps will start your journey.

Have an extraordinary year! Now get to it!

For more information visit ww.sharspeaks.com or email shar@sharspeaks.com. Also keep an eye out for my latest book, Giving You the WOW and the HOW, due out in early 2010!