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Three Tips To Better Decisions

Monday, July 21st, 2008

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By Success Expert Sharmen Lane

Have you ever done something just to later look back and wonder “what was I thinking?” I know I have and I’m pretty sure everyone has at some point in their lives. You know the old adage, hindsight is 20/20. Or, how about “if I knew then what I know now" I would have done things differently.

What if I told you that there is a sure fire way to make better decisions? Do you think that could change your life? Here’s the thing, I can’t change your life for you. I can only give you the tools so you can change your own life, but ultimately you are the one that must do the doing.

Every choice we make has a consequence. Sometimes the consequences are good and sometimes they’re not. More importantly, sometimes we don’t realize or think about our choices or decisions until the damage is done. At which point we have to suffer the consequences which later leads to regret. How can you learn to exercise better judgment without making painful mistakes that could have been avoided in the first place?

Here are five things you can do to make better decisions.

1.       10 second rule- Before you react to anything stop and count to ten slowly. This means when someone says something that you want to rip their head off for just stop. Inhale for a count of five and exhale for a count of five. Just that right there will have elevated your consciousness and provided you with the opportunity to respond wisely versus reacting emotionally.

2.       Video tape test- Before you engage in an act that you might possibly regret later, think about this. If your actions were caught on videotape and sent to your mother would you be proud? If whatever you are doing showed up on YouTube or the evening news and everyone you knew and everyone you didn’t know were to see it, would you be embarrassed or would you be proud? Sometimes we don’t think before we do and then later wish we could undo it altogether. But unfortunately, you can’t undo the past but you can make better choices in the present by being present.

3.       Child test- Many times we don’t have our best interest in mind. Many times we don’t hold ourselves in high regard. How can we learn to respect ourselves? Try this. Before you instantly say yes or no or allow someone to treat you badly, ask yourself “would this be good enough for my child?” Even if you don’t have or want children this method can help. Somehow we as human beings accept less or allow things that would never be acceptable our child. Be your own parent and nurture your own inner child. Then decide if what you are doing or allowing is acceptable for you.

If you utilize these three tools I guarantee you will make better choices, have more proud moments and far fewer regrets.

For more information visit www.sharspeaks.com

 



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GPS to Success

Monday, June 30th, 2008

Watch my 30 minute online video at the Learning Annex

 

 

In my humble opinion, I think there are three key elements to achieving success in business.  Those 3 elements can be described in what I call the GPS system. Just like a navigational system you would use in your car to get you from where you are to where you want to be, the GPS for Success System can do the same thing.

 

·         G- Goals. You have to know what you want in order to get what you want.  Write down the end result, the thing at the end of the road that you want to obtain or achieve.  Is it a promotion, a new job, or a contest you want to win?  Whatever it is, write it down. This makes it clear to you and those around you exactly what you are working towards.

 

·         P- Plan. A goal without a plan is just a wish.  Just because you know what you want, does not ensure you are going to get it.  That takes planning. Break down your goal into the steps you need to take in order to achieve or obtain the end result. Many times the end result or the process to get where we want to be, is enough to stop us in our tracks and we end up not taking any action at all. That is why I teach the dicing method. You break down the goal into tiny, bite size steps so that no one step is overwhelming or intimidating.

 

As an example, if you have a large goal that you are looking to accomplish by the end of the year, all the details to make that happen may seem like just too much to deal with, and you may give up before you even start. However, if at the very moment you set the goal, you immediately go into planning mode and break down that one year goal into 12 steps (one for each month), then break each of the 12 into 4 steps (one for each week of the month), then break the 4 into 7(one step for each day of the week), you will have a plan that makes your goal a lot easier to accomplish.

 

·         S- Surmount Fear. We all have some kind of fear that gets in the way of getting what we say we want. Doesn’t mean we don’t want it, just means things get in our way. One of those “things” is fear. There are two types of fear. Pretty simple, real fear and fake fear. What’s the difference? Real fear can cause physical harm or death. Fake fear only exists in your head. So why is it that something that only exists in our heads, prevents us from taking action to get what we want? Perception.

 

Our perception of fear is what holds us back, not the fear itself. When it comes to a fake fear, like rejection, it is the projection of what MIGHT happen that stops us in our tracks. But let me ask you, even if what you thought might happen did happen are you any worse off than you were to begin with? If you are afraid to ask your boss for a raise because he or she might say no, let me ask you this. If he/she does say no are you any worse off than you started? No! So what do you have to lose? NOTHING!

 

Another example, there is a person you are interested in dating. You see them but you don’t approach them. Why not? They might say no, they might say go away, they might say not if you were the last person on earth and if it was up to you and he/she to continue the human race…NO, God would just have to find another way. Now, call me crazy, but I say so what. So what if they say that. Whatever they say will not cause me physical harm or death so what do I have to lose… NOTHING!

 

Let me ask you this. Let’s say you were rejected, turned down cold. Wouldn’t you rather know that this person is clearly not for you for a multitude of reasons than spend your life wondering what would have happened if? Anytime I have been turned down for anything, whether it be a date, or a job, or a raise, or anything, I know. I don’t wonder what would have happened if. I know. That to me is living a life of no regrets, no what if’s?

 

So that is my secret to success, three simple steps, GPS. You can accomplish anything if you just set a goal, make a plan and surmount fear. Sharmen Lane



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Worry Less, Accomplish More

Tuesday, May 13th, 2008

By Success Expert Sharmen Lane

Worry. Nothing good comes from this emotion.  As a matter of fact, most of the time only bad things come from worry.  Worry usually causes stress, anxiety, sleeplessness, headaches, grey hair and wrinkles.   So why, do we do it?

When we worry we are doing one of two things.  Either thinking about the past or projecting into the future.  Neither one has anything to do with right now.  I’ve been using this phrase for many years now and it goes like this. “Worry about tomorrow and you lose today”.  If there is something you are worried about, stop yourself and ask, are my thoughts about the future or the past?  I can almost guarantee it will be one or the other.

If you find you are thinking of the past, ask yourself if there is anything you can do to change it?  Unless you have some magic time machine chances are the answer is no. Therefore, why are you spending time thinking about it?  Don’t waste time and energy thinking about what happened and wishing it were different.  No amount of thinking about it is going to change it. 

If you find you are thinking of something that hasn’t happened yet then you are projecting your thoughts into the unknown future.  That is a waste of time and energy.  Your imagination is what is working here and nothing else. 

In either case, if you are thinking about the past or the future, you are not being present.   The sure fire way to eliminate worry is to accept, plan and take action.  Whatever happened in the past isn’t going to change so accept it, find the good that came out of it and make a plan to prevent it from happening again.  If you are concerned about something in the future, accept that hasn’t happened yet, make a plan to get the results you are looking for and take the steps necessary to get the desired results.

If you are worrying about a mistake you made at work yesterday, can you rewind time and undo what has already happened?  NO!  Therefore, accept what happened and evaluate your current situation.  Then come up with a plan to correct the mistake or make it right then take action.

If you are worried about how you are going to pay the rent next month, is worrying about it going to help you pay the rent?  NO!  What will?  Finding a way to save money and make more.  Now that will pay the rent.

The next time you find yourself having the emotion you would identify as worry or concern, get present.  Think about now, make a plan and take action to get what you want.

There is nothing that wastes the body like worry, and one who has any faith in God should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever~Mahatma Ghandi

For more information visit www.sharspeaks.com or email us at sharspeaks@yahoo.com

 



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Thursday, May 1st, 2008

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