by Sales and Success Speaker Sharmen Lane

I know more people today than ever before that are looking for that special someone.  Well if you want to meet the man or woman of your dreams then you need to put yourself out there. You need to take that NO FEAR approach to dating. 

Motivational Minute- Once your choose hope, anything is possible. Christopher Reeve

If you fly by the seat of your pants, you better expect turbulence. Author unknown

Motivational Minute- Communication, the human connection, is the key to personal and career success.” Paul J. Meyer

motivational minute- In order to get what you want you have to know what you want. Find your passion and set your goals!

Motivational Minute- Blowing out someone’s candle doesn’t make your’s shine any brighter.

Motivational Minute of the day! A goal without a plan is just a wish~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Successful people understand the difference between can’t and won’t.  There is a lot of power in words.  They can strengthen and empower us.  They can build an army or start a war.  Think about the words you use to describe yourself, and what you are capable of.  Do your words say victim or victor?

Think about the words can’t and won’t.  How often do you say I can’t when you really mean won’t?  Can’t means that you are physically not capable while won’t means that you are choosing not to. 

I can’t go up to a perfect stranger and introduce myself.  Yes you can. You are physically capable of walking up to someone, sticking out your hand and saying “Hi, I’m Sharmen Lane, what’s your name?”  Many will say, “I can’t do that.”  Yes you can.  You may have to dig deep and find the courage in you, but you are physically capable of it.

In business or your personal life the words you use can make a powerful statement.  I once had a woman in sales tell me she couldn’t walk in to potential client offices and ask them for business.  That’s when it dawned on me that there is a tremendous difference between can’t and won’t.  I responded to this woman with “You can’t. So you are telling me that you are not physically capable of walking to the door, sticking out your hand, grabbing the knob, turning it, pulling the door open and walking through the opening?’ Of course with resistance she replied with “Well, yes I can do THAT”.  That is the difference between can’t and won’t.

This isn’t to say it will be easy.  It may be difficult.  It may require some extreme mental discipline, or having a talk with yourself to make you do something you previously “couldn’t”.  I never said it was easy, and sometimes you will have to psych your self up and literally force yourself do it. But you can. As soon as you take responsibility and the empowering position you will be amazed at the things you can and will do.

The next time you hear yourself saying "I can’t…” stop for a moment and ask yourself, it is really that I can’t, that I’m physically not capable, or is it that I won’t?  If you determine that you could but you choose not too then it’s wont.  At that point you can choose to change your way of thinking, step up to the plate and do it!

Don’t miss Sharmen Lane on Lifetime Television Thursday November 6, 7am PT/ET 6am Central