I know more people today than ever before that are looking for that special someone. Well if you want to meet the man or woman of your dreams then you need to put yourself out there. You need to take that NO FEAR approach to dating.
No fear rule #1. Dont take anything personally! Dating is a numbers game, just like sales. I get excited every time I have a bad date because I believe dates are like sales calls… it takes 10 no’s to get a yes. It takes 10 bad, to get a good.
No fear rule #2- Have no fear. Who cares if you get rejected?!? I believe there are two types of fear. Real fear and fake fear. Real fear can cause you physical harm or death. Fake fear doesnt, it only exists in your head. I once approached a man and said, "Excuse me, but I couldnt help but over hear your conversation and I find you intriguing. You seem like someone I would like to get to know better." I reached out to give him my business card and he looked me up and down and said "Sorry I only date beautiful women." I turned and went back to my girlfriend and said "YES! One more down, only 3 more to go!"
I have these and many other philosophies in my book, The 7 Secrets to Create Your Fate. I give you the tools, tips and strategies to create the life you want.
We are continuing our talk today with Jacqueline Wales, many time author, Singer, Bali Resort Owner, Business Owner, wife and mother. She has dedicated her life to using her experience to empower others to overcome fear, find strategies to take yo uto the place where you can stand in your own power and know anything is possible. We will be discussing her 7 actions and 50 ways to turn your life on, and much, much more.
Fear is the number one barrier that stops us from getting what we want. However, there are really only two types of fears. Real fears and fake fears. The saddest part is that fake fears are what hold us back far more than real ones.
What’s the difference? A real fear is something that can cause physical harm or death. A fake fear is something that only exists in your mind and can change depending on your perspective.
For example, real fears are things like Ophidiophobia or Arachnophobia which are better known as the fear of snakes or spiders. These are things that could cause you physical harm or death. That would be a real fear.
On the flip side, you have fake fears. These are things that only exist in our minds. Things like fear of failure, success, rejection, etc. These things will not cause you physical harm or death. You will not suffer any injuries and you won’t die. You won’t end up in the hospital if you fail at something. Essentially nothing bad happens. So why is it that things like fear of failure or rejection hold us back from getting what we want?
Ego. (to learn more about the ego read The Power of Now) Ego is the reason things like failure and rejection stop us from making progress or working towards our goal. Silly if you think about it, isn’t it? Why would you not work towards something even if you might fail? So what if you fail. Failure is just a matter of perspective. In my mind there is no such thing as failure. There are only results. If I don’t get the results I’m looking for I’d bet I learned something along the way. That’s called learning and I simply will not believe that anything learned is a waste. Lessons are lessons and the important thing is to learn them.
If you find that you are not making progress or are not taking any action at all towards a goal, ask yourself what you are afraid of. No matter what the answer is, ask the next two questions. Will this cause me physical harm? Will this cause my death? Likelihood is the answer is no. So step up to the plate and swing. What do you really have to lose? Honestly, the only thing you have to lose is the opportunity to get exactly what you want.
There are only two fears that exist. Real fears and fake fears. Most of us have fears about things that aren’t even real. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of success, etc. These are not real fears. They are imaginary things we make up in our heads about what would happen if. In this episode you are given the tools to say farewell to fear!
In my humble opinion, I think there are three key elements to achieving success in business.Those 3 elements can be described in what I call the GPS system. Just like a navigational system you would use in your car to get you from where you are to where you want to be, the GPS for Success System can do the same thing.
·G- Goals. You have to know what you want in order to get what you want.Write down the end result, the thing at the end of the road that you want to obtain or achieve.Is it a promotion, a new job, or a contest you want to win?Whatever it is, write it down. This makes it clear to you and those around you exactly what you are working towards.
·P- Plan. A goal without a plan is just a wish.Just because you know what you want, does not ensure you are going to get it.That takes planning. Break down your goal into the steps you need to take in order to achieve or obtain the end result. Many times the end result or the process to get where we want to be, is enough to stop us in our tracks and we end up not taking any action at all. That is why I teach the dicing method. You break down the goal into tiny, bite size steps so that no one step is overwhelming or intimidating.
As an example, if you have a large goal that you are looking to accomplish by the end of the year, all the details to make that happen may seem like just too much to deal with, and you may give up before you even start. However, if at the very moment you set the goal, you immediately go into planning mode and break down that one year goal into 12 steps (one for each month), then break each of the 12 into 4 steps (one for each week of the month), then break the 4 into 7(one step for each day of the week), you will have a plan that makes your goal a lot easier to accomplish.
·S- Surmount Fear. We all have some kind of fear that gets in the way of getting what we say we want. Doesn’t mean we don’t want it, just means things get in our way. One of those “things” is fear. There are two types of fear. Pretty simple, real fear and fake fear. What’s the difference? Real fear can cause physical harm or death. Fake fear only exists in your head. So why is it that something that only exists in our heads, prevents us from taking action to get what we want? Perception.
Our perception of fear is what holds us back, not the fear itself. When it comes to a fake fear, like rejection, it is the projection of what MIGHT happen that stops us in our tracks. But let me ask you, even if what you thought might happen did happen are you any worse off than you were to begin with? If you are afraid to ask your boss for a raise because he or she might say no, let me ask you this. If he/she does say no are you any worse off than you started? No! So what do you have to lose? NOTHING!
Another example, there is a person you are interested in dating. You see them but you don’t approach them. Why not? They might say no, they might say go away, they might say not if you were the last person on earth and if it was up to you and he/she to continue the human race…NO, God would just have to find another way. Now, call me crazy, but I say so what. So what if they say that. Whatever they say will not cause me physical harm or death so what do I have to lose… NOTHING!
Let me ask you this. Let’s say you were rejected, turned down cold. Wouldn’t you rather know that this person is clearly not for you for a multitude of reasons than spend your life wondering what would have happened if? Anytime I have been turned down for anything, whether it be a date, or a job, or a raise, or anything, I know. I don’t wonder what would have happened if. I know. That to me is living a life of no regrets, no what if’s?
So that is my secret to success, three simple steps, GPS. You can accomplish anything if you just set a goal, make a plan and surmount fear. Sharmen Lane
Check out my 30 minute Teleseminar at the Learning Annex
In my humble opinion, I think there are three key elements to achieving success in business. Those 3 elements can be described in what I call the GPS system. Just like a navigational system you would use in your car to get you from where you are to where you want to be, the GPS for Success System can do the same thing.
·G- Goals. You have to know what you want in order to get what you want. Write down the end result, the thing at the end of the road that you want to obtain or achieve. Is it a promotion, a new job, or a contest you want to win? Whatever it is, write it down. This makes it clear to you and those around you exactly what you are working towards.
·P- Plan. A goal without a plan is just a wish. Just because you know what you want, does not ensure you are going to get it. That takes planning. Break down your goal into the steps you need to take in order to achieve or obtain the end result. Many times the end result or the process to get where we want to be, is enough to stop us in our tracks and we end up not taking any action at all. That is why I teach the dicing method. You break down the goal into tiny, bite size steps so that no one step is overwhelming or intimidating.
As an example, if you have a large goal that you are looking to accomplish by the end of the year, all the details to make that happen may seem like just too much to deal with, and you may give up before you even start. However, if at the very moment you set the goal, you immediately go into planning mode and break down that one year goal into 12 steps (one for each month), then break each of the 12 into 4 steps (one for each week of the month), then break the 4 into 7(one step for each day of the week), you will have a plan that makes your goal a lot easier to accomplish.
·S- Surmount Fear. We all have some kind of fear that gets in the way of getting what we say we want. Doesn’t mean we don’t want it, just means things get in our way. One of those “things” is fear. There are two types of fear. Pretty simple, real fear and fake fear. What’s the difference? Real fear can cause physical harm or death. Fake fear only exists in your head. So why is it that something that only exists in our heads, prevents us from taking action to get what we want? Perception.
Our perception of fear is what holds us back, not the fear itself. When it comes to a fake fear, like rejection, it is the projection of what MIGHT happen that stops us in our tracks. But let me ask you, even if what you thought might happen did happen are you any worse off than you were to begin with? If you are afraid to ask your boss for a raise because he or she might say no, let me ask you this. If he/she does say no are you any worse off than you started? No! So what do you have to lose? NOTHING!
Another example, there is a person you are interested in dating. You see them but you don’t approach them. Why not? They might say no, they might say go away, they might say not if you were the last person on earth and if it was up to you and he/she to continue the human race…NO, God would just have to find another way. Now, call me crazy, but I say so what. So what if they say that. Whatever they say will not cause me physical harm or death so what do I have to lose… NOTHING!
Let me ask you this. Let’s say you were rejected, turned down cold. Wouldn’t you rather know that this person is clearly not for you for a multitude of reasons than spend your life wondering what would have happened if? Anytime I have been turned down for anything, whether it be a date, or a job, or a raise, or anything, I know. I don’t wonder what would have happened if. I know. That to me is living a life of no regrets, no what if’s?
So that is my secret to success, three simple steps, GPS. You can accomplish anything if you just set a goal, make a plan and surmount fear.
