By Motivational Speaker and Author Sharmen Lane

By Success Expert Sharmen Lane

Worry. Nothing good comes from this emotion.  As a matter of fact, most of the time only bad things come from worry.  Worry usually causes stress, anxiety, sleeplessness, headaches, grey hair and wrinkles.   So why, do we do it?

When we worry we are doing one of two things.  Either thinking about the past or projecting into the future.  Neither one has anything to do with right now.  I’ve been using this phrase for many years now and it goes like this. “Worry about tomorrow and you lose today”.  If there is something you are worried about, stop yourself and ask, are my thoughts about the future or the past?  I can almost guarantee it will be one or the other.

If you find you are thinking of the past, ask yourself if there is anything you can do to change it?  Unless you have some magic time machine chances are the answer is no. Therefore, why are you spending time thinking about it?  Don’t waste time and energy thinking about what happened and wishing it were different.  No amount of thinking about it is going to change it. 

If you find you are thinking of something that hasn’t happened yet then you are projecting your thoughts into the unknown future.  That is a waste of time and energy.  Your imagination is what is working here and nothing else. 

In either case, if you are thinking about the past or the future, you are not being present.   The sure fire way to eliminate worry is to accept, plan and take action.  Whatever happened in the past isn’t going to change so accept it, find the good that came out of it and make a plan to prevent it from happening again.  If you are concerned about something in the future, accept that hasn’t happened yet, make a plan to get the results you are looking for and take the steps necessary to get the desired results.

If you are worrying about a mistake you made at work yesterday, can you rewind time and undo what has already happened?  NO!  Therefore, accept what happened and evaluate your current situation.  Then come up with a plan to correct the mistake or make it right then take action.

If you are worried about how you are going to pay the rent next month, is worrying about it going to help you pay the rent?  NO!  What will?  Finding a way to save money and make more.  Now that will pay the rent.

The next time you find yourself having the emotion you would identify as worry or concern, get present.  Think about now, make a plan and take action to get what you want.

There is nothing that wastes the body like worry, and one who has any faith in God should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever~Mahatma Ghandi

For more information visit www.sharspeaks.com or email us at sharspeaks@yahoo.com

 By Sharmen Lane Self Improvement and Success Expert

How often do we put off until tomorrow what can be done today? You know you should clean out the closet, or study for the test or prepare your will or trust.  However, you find a gamut of other things to do instead.  There are many reasons that we as human beings procrastinate. Here are the most common.

1.            Anxiety.  Do you have anxiety about what needs to be done and that is why you are putting it off?  Typically anxiety is directly related to the beginning or the ending of a task.  That’s usually because what needs to be done, seems overwhelming or frightening.  How many times do you put off doing your taxes?  Is that because the actual process of doing your taxes is too challenging or too difficult?  Another good example is situations like having an elderly parent knowing there are certain things that need to be dealt with and you really don’t want to face it. It’s something you’d rather push back to the dark corners of your closet and not deal with it.  But rarely, does this work in our favor.

2.            Failure.  Another reason people procrastinate.  Are you not doing what you know you should do because you expect you may fail?  Is it safer and easier to say you didn’t get what you want because you didn’t try? What’s the alternative?  To say you didn’t get what you want because you did try but failed?  I believe that it’s better to have tried and failed than to never have tried at all.  Don’t you waste more mental energy thinking about doing something as opposed to just doing it?

3.             Success. Yet another reason people procrastinate. Many will not do what they are capable of doing because they know it will result in success.  Success is heavy and carries a responsibility with it.  Are you nervous or unsure about the responsibilities you will have if you reach your goal?  Is the reason you aren’t taking action?

4.             Perfectionist.  Perfectionists tend to take no action if they can’t do it perfectly.  I have seen people who have absolutely disaster-ous home improvement projects both inside and outside that haven’t been finished.  So the inside of their kitchen may be half ripped out and not functioning but they won’t do anything to fix it until they have the plans just perfect, down to every last detail.  This makes no sense to me.  Why would you rather live in complete and total chaos than make the situation decent and livable?

5.             Resistance.  Yet one more reason people put off what needs to done.  If you are being required to do something that you do not want to do or do not see the value in, you may put it off until the very last possible moment or permanently if you can get away with it. Many times with school or work you have to do things you really don’t want to do. You have to take prerequisite classes for school or you have to sit through an HR presentation at work even though you have been there for 10 + years and never had an HR problem.    You don’t want to do any of these things.   They are annoying nagging things you need to do, but you put them off because there are plenty of things you want to do that are far more appealing. 

The most common denominator here is fear.   Pushing it off or procrastinating is only going to make matters worse.  If there are consequences to something those consequences are still going to be there when you finally get around to facing them and they will likely get worse the longer you put it off.  Ask yourself, “What am I afraid of,” and then deal with it.  Many times, if not always, things are worse in our head than reality ever turns out to be.  Just be honest and admit the fear, deal with it, get past it and step up and live your life NOW!!!  If something doesn’t work out the way you want it to, it’s ok, you can now move on to something else. 

by Self Help Expert Sharmen Lane Almost everything we do in life is a choice.  To get out of bed in the morning is a choice. To go to work and do your job and pay your rent and take chances and risks, are all choices.  To eat unhealthy foods knowing you will gain weight and increase fat and cholesterol and your risk for heart disease are all choices.  To get married, or stay in an unhappy marriage or have children, again all these things are our choices. Every choice has a consequence.  Sometimes the consequences are good, sometimes they’re not.  Either way, there is always a choice and a consequence that goes along with it.  In my own personal opinion it is quite empowering to realize and exercise your ability to choose. That’s a whole lot better than leaving your life or your successes to chance.  I would rather ensure my success by making better choices than leaving my life, my opportunities and my success up to a roll of the dice.How often do you hear someone say, “I didn’t have a choice”?  As awful as the options may be, there is always a choice.  If you choose to go out with friends or colleagues when you know you should be preparing for a test or a presentation that is your choice.  If you don’t pass the test, or you don’t do as well as you know you were capable of on the presentation you will know you really have no one to blame but yourself.  That’s called taking responsibility for our actions. Every choice moves us closer to or farther away from something.  Where are your choices leading your life?  When you are facing a challenge or an opportunity ask yourself, “Is this going to bring me closer to or farther away from what I want?”  And then depending on your answer, you choose.

Sometimes you will have to choose between two crummy options.  Even though both of the options are terrible, there is still a choice.  Not choosing is choosing. If you want better things, you have to make better choices. If you want more money you have to make choices that will provide you with more money.  If you want a better relationship, you have to make choices that encourage a better relationship.

Here’s a little tool to help you out.  I’ve developed a little fast and simple process that will help you to evaluate any situation and make better choices.  With better choices we make better more enriched lives for ourselves.  Ask yourself, "if I do X what will be the consequences, both good and bad?"  It’s almost the same as doing a pros and cons list.  Most people don’t stop and think.  They just do.  If you can create a new habit of stopping whatever you are doing and simple ask, what are the consequences if I make this choice?  You will make better decisions and create a better life for yourself. Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.Wayne Dyer

For more information visit www.sharspeaks.com

1.       Write-  Everything you need or want to get done in a day, write it down.  You don’t have to overcomplicate this one.  Just get a simple legal pad of paper and write Things To Do  Monday at the top.  Then start your list.  I do things to the ridiculous.  1. Wake up at 6am.  2. Go to gym by 6:30.  3. Email Mike regarding marketing. 4 Call Mary about business cards.  5. Pick up dry cleaning. 6. Drop off bracelet at jeweler. 7. Buy stamps…etc.  If you simply write down what needs to be done you will free up your mind and instantly be more focused and get more done.

2.       Eliminate distractions- Distractions or interruptions are the primary cause for people to not be efficient and get what needs to be done, done.  Here you have two options.  Option A- remove the distractor.  If it’s the phone, turn it off.  If it’s email, don’t even log into your account until your project is complete.  If it’s television, don’t turn it on.  Option B. Remove yourself from the distractor.  If you work in an office where others are constantly being a distraction or interruptive, then you need to not be in that environment.  If possible work from home to complete a project.  Go to an available conference room or empty office and close the door.  If you are in a cubicle put up a sign that reads, Do NOT Disturb or Quiet time from 9-noon, no interruptions please.

3.       Stay in the moment- Many times people do not use the present moment effectively because they are projecting in the future or dwelling on the past.  The future is not here yet, so it is most efficient and effective to get the most you can out of this moment, right now.  By writing a things to do list you will be eliminating, or a least reducing stress and random thoughts.  You will be more organized, together and know what you need to do and when you need to do it by.   If you are dwelling on the past, with all do respect you need to get over it and move on.  Here’s the thing, no matter how much you ponder and percolate on something that has already happened , it isn’t going to change what happened.  It is what it is.  Think about where you are now and what you can do in this present moment to make the best of any situation.

4.       Set an alarm- If you need to get something done in a specific amount of time or if you need to dedicate minutes, hours, etc  to a project to complete it by the deadline, set an alarm. Use one on your computer, watch, cell phone, egg timer, or an actually alarm clock.  Until that alarm sounds, you stay focused and only work on that one project.  Allotting a specific amount of time will enable you to concentrate on just the matter at hand without concerning yourself with the clock or other things around you. 

5.       Have a reward- Nothing is better than having a little incentive when you are learning a new habit. The next time you are struggling with managing your time, give your self a reward.  Say when I have my entire things to do list complete every day for one week, I will give myself blank, as a treat.  Now you have a reason to stay focused, avoid distractions and get what needs done, done.

 Those are the five basic steps for Time Management.  What are you waiting for??? Get to writing your things to do list today!